


guardian

by chtkwn (mooshu)



Series: disorderly au [11]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Autism, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neurodiversity, Sickfic, autistic!leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 19:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooshu/pseuds/chtkwn
Summary: Taekwoon is sick.





	guardian

**Author's Note:**

> written for a lovely tumblr anon who requested me to write about taekwoon visiting the hospital, his interactions with the staff, and how it all affects his relationship with hakyeon. thank you!!
> 
> cw: hospitals, illness, needles

Taekwoon is sick.  
  
He's been feeling a little off for a few days, but when he wakes up this morning he's in full blown sickness. He feels like he has every symptom at once. His head is cloudy and stuffed up, his nose is so blocked he can't breath through it, and his entire body aches terribly.  
  
He has no energy at all. He doesn't have the brainpower to talk, or even think clearly. All he can do is lay in bed almost lifelessly as a very concerned Hakyeon places a hand onto his forehead.  
  
"You're burning up," he says. "I'm going to call in sick for the both of us, okay?"  
  
Taekwoon is glad Hakyeon will be staying home with him because he knows he can't function alone in this state. He does fight through the cloudiness to drag himself to the bathroom, and then to pour Bibi some dry cat food as Hakyeon speaks on the phone. He's trying to head back to their bedroom, but he kind of stumbles and falls into the wall.  
  
Hakyeon is there immediately, grabbing onto him. "Taekwoonie? Are you okay?"  
  
"Weak," Taekwoon mumbles. It's so much effort to speak even a single tiny word it hurts.  
  
Hakyeon picks him up effortlessly and carries him the rest of the way to their bed. He gently sits Taekwoon down and pulls the quilt over him. "I'm taking you to the hospital," he says.  
  
Taekwoon shakes his head. "No," he whines. Nothing is worse than hospitals and doctors and needles and medicine. Even being sick like this has it beat.  
  
"You're really sick, Taekwoon," Hakyeon tells him. "I don't want to force you into going, so just think about it. The hospital will make you feel better."  
  
"No."  
  
Hakyeon sighs, but doesn't argue any farther. "I'll go heat you up a can of soup."  
  
Taekwoon eats just a few spoonfuls of the chicken and noodles soup at a time, sipping on orange juice in between. Hakyeon gives him some over the counter medicine that's supposed to help lower fevers. He feels a tiny bit better after that. The clouds in his head are clearer and he doesn't feel as hot.  
  
He is still without energy though, and very tired. He hopes that if he takes a nap he'll sleep right through being sick and will wake up feeling all better. Hakyeon sits next to him on the bed, and hums softly as Taekwoon drifts off into sleep.  
  
-  
  
Hakyeon sits and watches as Taekwoon sleeps. He hates seeing him sick. He's usually a healthy person and illnesses come rare to him, but when they do hit, they hit hard. Hakyeon is especially worried after seeing him stumble earlier. He had looked as if he was going to faint.  
  
Taekwoon lets out low pained whimpers as he sleeps. Hakyeon thought the medicine he gave was helping, but as he lays his hand to Taekwoon's forehead he finds it as burning as ever. Hakyeon frowns. If his fever doesn't ease down at least, Taekwoon is going to have to go to the hospital whether he likes it or not. Hakyeon is not sure on how to go about it though. He doesn't want to make Taekwoon do something he doesn't want to do. He's an adult who can make his own decisions, but getting him to willingly visit the hospital is going to be a challenge.  
  
Hakyeon passes time by eating cereal, cleaning the litter box, scrolling through his social media timelines. He's catching up on the local news when he hears groaning sounds coming from their bedroom.  
  
Taekwoon is awake, sitting up in bed and rubbing at his eyes with his fists. He points towards the window with agitation - too much light. Hakyeon closes the blinds for him.  
  
"How you feeling?" he asks.  
  
Taekwoon answers with a slurry of words and sounds that Hakyeon can't decipher. He shakes his head. "I can't hear you, love. Try to speak slowly."  
  
Taekwoon huffs. He hates having to repeat himself. "I'm still sick," he says.  
  
"Let's go to the hospital," Hakyeon tries again. "They'll help you."  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
Hakyeon sighs but keeps his patience. He knows this isn't going to be easy. Taekwoon is even more stubborn than usual when he's sick. "Please? I'm worried."  
  
This sways Taekwoon a bit. "Why?"  
  
"You look and sound bad, and it scared me when you almost fell."  
  
"Because I was weak."  
  
Hakyeon nods. "The doctors at the hospital will help you feel better again."  
  
Taekwoon seems to be deep in thought now. Maybe persuading him isn't going to take as long as Hakyeon initially thought. He waits patiently as he watches Taekwoon consider it. He knows gears are turning in his head and that he's laying out all of the benefits and downsides of going, possible scenarios, and people he'll have to interact with.  
  
"I guess," Taekwoon responds, unenthusiastically.  
  
Hakyeon lets out a breath. "Okay," he says. He sees how afraid Taekwoon is, so he gives him a kiss and a reassuring smile. He understands Taekwoon has solid reasons for his dislike and distrust of hospitals and medical personnel. He just wishes Taekwoon knew that as long as he is with him, he has nothing to be scared of.  
  
-  
  
The ride to the hospital seems to take so long, but Taekwoon is not complaining. He's not looking forward to it at all, and is mostly only going because he doesn't want Hakyeon to worry. He's also a little bit afraid of this sickness killing him. He wants to ask Hakyeon if he's going to die, but he refrains from it for now.  
  
Hakyeon talks during the entire drive. He tells Taekwoon about the hospital. They'll have to wait in the emergency room until the nurse says his name, then the doctor will see him. He'll probably ask a bunch of questions and do tests and give Taekwoon medicine. It doesn't sound that bad yet, but it'll be different as it's happening.  
  
Taekwoon doesn't speak at all. He just listens and saves his energy for the hospital visit. He dozes in and out of the clouds in his head and tries to think about good things.  
  
The emergency room is noisy. There's a crying baby, and Taekwoon likes babies but only when they're quiet. He has gotten good at managing noises in public so he no longer carries his headphones with him everywhere, but he really wishes he had brought them here because being sick makes the sensory onslaught a million times worse.  
  
He has to cover his ears with his hands instead. He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the bright florescent lights. Hakyeon even tries to help but putting his own hands over Taekwoon's for double protection.  
  
On top of all of this, there's still the sickness. The fever and stuffy nose and the aches. Taekwoon grows more and more frustrated as the minutes go by. He hasn't head banged in years, but he's feeling a sudden urge to get up and begin bashing his head into the wall repeatedly.  
  
Hakyeon always tells him that if he ever feels like he wants to hurt himself, let him know. "Red," Taekwoon whispers.  
  
Hakyeon immediately gets it. "Okay, come on."  
  
He takes Taekwoon to the front desk, where he explains to the receptionist there about Taekwoon's sensory processing issues and asks if there's a quieter place they can wait in.  
  
She leads them to a small room just to the side of the waiting room, where vending machines are, and a small bench. She shuts the door behind her and the noises dampen significantly. Taekwoon finally feels like he can breath again. They sit on the bench, which is hard and uncomfortable but he doesn't really care.  
  
Hakyeon gestures towards the vending machines. "Do you want a snack?"  
  
Taekwoon shakes his head, and Hakyeon tsks. "I know you must be really sick if you're declining food," he says.  
  
-  
  
Hakyeon feels so sorry for Taekwoon. He looks _miserable_. He finds himself wondering a few times if coming to the hospital was the right decision. Maybe Taekwoon would recover faster if he was in a more comfortable environment. It's easier to control how loud or bright things are at home, but being in public is unpredictable.  
  
It's a long wait. Taekwoon is quiet other than some wheezing and coughing. The first couple of times the door opens, it's just someone coming in to buy snacks. It's a relief when the nurse pokes her head in says, "Jung Taekwoon?"  
  
"Here," Hakyeon says. He stands and tugs on Taekwoon's hand as a gesture to follow along.  
  
Taekwoon doesn't move. He keeps his eyes shut, and Hakyeon wonders if he's playing that game where he pretends to be asleep to get out of things he doesn't want to do.  
  
"Taekwoon, it's time to go," he says. "Don't you want to feel better?"  
  
The nurse taps her foot on the floor impatiently. She is not amused. "We have other people waiting to be seen," she says.  
  
Hakyeon doesn't appreciate her attitude at all, and he's tempted to just tell her to forget it but he stops. Taekwoon needs treatment. "Let's go, Taekwoon. Really."  
  
Taekwoon whines but he finally gets up. Hakyeon takes a hold of his hand for comfort, and to also let him know he's not angry or annoyed or anything like that.  
  
Hakyeon doesn't let go until they're in the exam room, and Taekwoon has to climb onto the cot. He glances around the room warily, eyeing the medical instruments that sit on the counter with a look of unease. His legs twitch, eager to just bolt out of the room and never look back.  
  
The doctor that comes in is a short and balding man. Hakyeon is good at reading people quickly, and from the brief introduction this man gives he can tell he's a no nonsense type of doctor and is afraid they might have some trouble with him.  
  
"What's his symptoms?" the doctor speaks directly to Hakyeon.  
  
"Fever, nasal congestion, fatigue and weakness, aching, some coughing..." Hakyeon lists off each one with his fingers. He turns to Taekwoon in effort to include him in the conversation since this is _his_ appointment. "Right?"  
  
Taekwoon keeps his eyes glued to the floor and doesn't respond.  
  
"We're not going to have any cooperation issues, are we?" the doctor asks.  
  
"You have to be patient."  
  
The doctor hums. "Well, just from hearing his symptoms and looking at him alone, I think he has the flu," he says. "We've already had several people today come in with it. Has he gotten the flu shot?"  
  
Guilt washes over Hakyeon. Taekwoon is behind on vaccinations. He's been so busy with work, he's neglected scheduling an appointment for him. "He hasn't."  
  
"I'm going to do a throat swab then," the doctor says. "Just to be sure."  
  
Hakyeon turns towards Taekwoon as the doctor gathers what he needs. "He's going to take a long cotton swab and dab at the back of your throat," he explains. Taekwoon's eyes widen in horror. "It won't hurt! You'll just feel some discomfort."  
  
The doctor twirls the cotton swab in his hand. "Open wide."  
  
Taekwoon obeys without argument. He does squeeze Hakyeon's hand so tightly it feels like it's going to break, but he does well. He doesn't even gag.  
  
The doctor puts the swab in a plastic baggie and tells them after he takes it to the lab, the results will be ready in less then thirty minutes.  
  
Once he leaves, Hakyeon presses kisses to Taekwoon's lips, cheeks, eyes, forehead. He won't be surprised if he ends up with the flu as well, but he needs to show Taekwoon how proud of him he is because verbal comfort doesn't always work.  
  
-  
  
Taekwoon lays down on the cot as he waits for the results to come in. He feels so exhausted again, he wonders if he can doze off and sleep through the rest of this visit. The throat swab wasn't that bad but he still feels assaulted. He really didn't want to do it. He heard the doctor talking about _cooperation_ though, and didn't want to put Hakyeon through anymore trouble, so he fought through it.  
  
The kisses Hakyeon rewarded him with maybe made it worth it though. He's just worried about him getting sick too.  
  
The door opens and the doctor steps in again. "How are we?"  
  
"Tired," Hakyeon answers.  
  
"Well, I have bad news," the doctor says. "The tests are positive for influenza."  
  
How is that bad news? Taekwoon doesn't understand. If things are positive, then they're all good. He frowns at Hakyeon, silently questioning him, but he doesn't seem to notice.  
  
He's too busy talking to the doctor. "What now?" he asks.  
  
"We'll move him to a room, give him some fluids and such, and keep an eye on him overnight," the doctor explains. "Just to be safe. The flu has been rough this year."  
  
Taekwoon does not like this. He's never been hospitalized before, and he hasn't spent not one full night alone without Hakyeon there with him for almost ten years.  
  
He sits up on the cot suddenly, which makes his head spin but he ignores it. "I'm not sick," he announces. He tries to climb off the cot the best he can without falling.  
  
Hakyeon stands up to help. "Taekwoon, you're still wobbly."  
  
"No."  
  
The doctor laughs but Taekwoon doesn't understand what's funny. "A nurse will be here soon to show you to your room."  
  
Taekwoon wants to cry. He throws his arms around Hakyeon and squeezes tightly. He will _not_ let go.  
  
"Oh, you're going to break my back," Hakyeon gasps. "Taekwoon, you do know I can stay with you, right?"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course. If you don't crush me to death, that is."  
  
Taekwoon loosens his grip but doesn't release him completely. He wants to make sure Hakyeon is going to stay with him at all times from now on.  
  
The room the nurse leads them to has a proper hospital bed in it. Taekwoon lays down, and he feels very weird about it. Is he really this sick? Maybe he really might die. He knows the flu can kill people. If he dies though, who is going to feed Bibi? Hakyeon can be so forgetful when it comes to that.  
  
"He's a little dehydrated so we're going to administer some fluids," the nurse is telling Hakyeon. Taekwoon hopes they have orange juice.  
  
Hakyeon takes his hand. "You're getting an IV," he says. "The needle will sting but only for a second."  
  
"Needle?" Taekwoon's voice is just barely audible. Why can't they just give him the juice in a cup like normal?  
  
The nurse feels around on his arm for a moment, then ties a big rubber band around it tightly. She has the needle thing in hand then, and Taekwoon feels lightheaded.  
  
"I'm not dehydrated," he says. "I'm not sick anymore."  
  
Hakyeon rubs his arm soothingly. "It's just a sting."  
  
The nurse brings the needle close to Taekwoon's arm. Before she can inject it into him though, he yelps and jerks his arm back quickly.  
  
It startles her. "Don't move!"  
  
"Taekwoon, just look at me," Hakyeon suggests.  
  
"Can you restrain him?" she asks.  
  
Taekwoon's blood runs cold. He remembers the doctors, or his own parents, holding him down more times than he count when he was little. No matter how much he screamed or wiggled, they wouldn't let him go.  
  
"I'm not going to," Hakyeon answers firmly.  
  
The nurse huffs but doesn't say anything else. Taekwoon takes Hakyeon's advice and looks at him instead of the needle. He hisses at the pain, but it really turns out to not be that bad. When he looks back, there's a long tube that connects to the one in his arm, and leads to a hanging bag of liquids. Oh. That's what she had meant.  
  
"I'll be back in a moment with medication," she says, and slips out the room.  
  
Taekwoon finally relaxes back onto the pillows. He's exhausted again. He wishes he could just go home.  
  
-  
  
Guilt is still gnawing at Hakyeon. He's spiraling into an ocean of regret. He should have remembered to set Taekwoon up with a vaccine appointment. He should have not been so focused on work to the point of neglecting Taekwoon's health. Scheduling doctor appointments is something that Taekwoon relies on him for, and he failed him.  
  
He knows he's being too hard on himself. Seeing Taekwoon so sick and distraught and hospitalized is difficult for him though, and the nurse asking him to restrain Taekwoon still has him riled up.  
  
They need a few items from home - phone chargers, toothbrushes, a change of clothes. Hakyeon does not want to leave Taekwoon here alone, in fear of the staff not respecting his boundaries or forcing him into something, so he gets Hongbin to do it for him.  
  
He tells Taekwoon this. "We need some things from home," he says, "so Hongbin's getting the key here to go get them."  
  
"Bibi?"  
  
Hakyeon smiles. "Yes, he's going to make sure Bibi has plenty of food and water and litter until tomorrow."  
  
Taekwoon relaxes. Hakyeon wonders just how much he was worried about the cat. "Hakyeon?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Taekwoon hesitates for a moment before asking, "Am I dying?"  
  
Hakyeon laughs for a short second, then stops once he sees how frightened Taekwoon is and how serious he is about asking. "Of course not, Taekwoonie. You'll feel better soon."  
  
"I'll feel better soon."  
  
"Right."  
  
"And go home."  
  
"Yes, hopefully tomorrow."  
  
Taekwoon sighs. He seems to be a lot more at peace now. "Thanks, Hakyeonnie."  
  
Hakyeon chuckles. "I didn't do much," he says.  
  
"You..." Taekwoon struggles to find the words he wants to say. "Help be my voice. Guardian. I don't know."  
  
Hakyeon understands what he's trying to express. He has to blink back the wetness in his eyes, because he thinks it's the first time Taekwoon has ever thanked him for something like this. "Of course, Taekwoon."  
  
Taekwoon smiles and closes his eyes, snuggling down into the pillow. Hakyeon knows he must be tired, so he says no more and covers Taekwoon with the blanket they were given. He watches as Taekwoon falls into sleep quickly, then leans over and softly presses a kiss to his cheek. "Sweet dreams."

**Author's Note:**

> i had fun writing this, and trying out switching the povs back and forth.. let me know what you think of that and i might try to do it again in future parts.
> 
> sorry for the scarce updates but im working on a longer piece of this au rn so get excited for that!! not exactly sure when it'll be up. hopefully this year lmao
> 
> any requests/questions/etc send them to [tumblr](http://hyukwoonie.tumblr.com/ask)! thank you for reading!


End file.
